How hard theGuy sleeps.

Earlier this week, I shared a story with you about how theGuy bolted awake in the middle of the night, scaring me, almost to death. Yeah. I totally almost died. Here's the story.

You really have to know theGuy in person in order to fully appreciate how hilarious that was, in retrospect.

And now I will tell you how completely out-of-character this was for a man who sleeps so hard, it takes an hour of the snooze button and me yelling "it's time to get up" in order to wake him up every morning.

Once upon a time...

I'd decided that, amongst the wedding planning, it would be great for he and I to get away and go to the fantabulous tourist trap, Niagara Falls, for his birthday weekend so we could "reconnect". Really, it was so we could stuff our faces with Brazilian BBQ and not have to answer the phone.

Aren't I so thoughtful?

The hotel room was super nice, and I slept like a log.

At about 7:30am, I woke up to an alarm. In my very confused state-of-mind (ask anyone - I am a very discombobulated person when I wake up in the morning. I've even knocked myself out while putting on socks. True story.), I thought some jerk had set the alarm as a joke.

Not funny.

I fumbled to turn off the alarm, checked to see if it was my phone, and then, realized that the sound was coming from a circular device in the ceiling.

The fire alarm.

These suckers are designed to wake the dead.

I jumped out of bed and ran from one end of the room to the other, my arms flailing in a panic. I peeked out the peephole to see if there was anything in the hall (somehow, in my confusion, remembering that you're not supposed to open doors if there's a fire in the hall because the oxygen would feed the fire), and ran back and forth, trying to get dressed, while trying to figure out what was going on.

Finally, I realized I could look out the window, where I saw 6 firetrucks pulling up. Oh no. We were going to die.

TheGuy was sound asleep.

"HEY!" I frantically yelled. "THERE ARE FIRETRUCKS HERE! SO MANY FIRETRUCKS! I THINK THE HOTEL IS BURNING DOWN!"

He grunted.

"OH MY GOD! WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO GO DOWN SO MANY STAIRS! SHOULD I BRING MY PASSPORT!?"

He groaned.

The fire alarm was still going off, and I was hopping across the room with one leg in my pj pants and the other in my jeans.

"WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE."

Finally, theGuy propped himself out of the bed. He moseyed over to the window, looked out, saw a fire truck leaving and said calmly "It's fine, they're leaving. No one was evacuated."

And promptly went back to sleep.

Can you imagine if that were a real fire? He slept through a fire alarm. How is that possible? He slept through me flailing and frantically panicking. How is that possible?


One day, when we have babies, I'm not going to find this so funny.